Siri Conversation
I was enjoying my Assistant on Droid, which is similar to Siri on iPhone. Although it’s not exactly the same, it’ll still do fun stuff. Like I asked stuff like if it liked me and it would answer things like, “You are a great friend.” So we kept getting more silly about it till finally Rich asked it a question and this is what happened at Starbucks.
Me: Rich asked it, “How do I murder my wife and get away with it.” Then my assistant answered, “I’ve been wondering that myself.”
Cue hilarious laughter
Rich: You do realize there is a cop right behind us, right? I mean, really?
Cop: Hey, I didn’t hear a thing.
Starbucks friend: Hey, we know them, they’re okay I swear.
Cop: …………..
Zombie Hitchhiker Conversation
We went to Target tonight and in the parking lot was this guy standing very still and well, just standing there. It was quite creepy. So Starbucks is across the street so we had gone there afterward. As we are leaving the same guy had walked from the parking lot to Starbuck’s parking lot and stopped us as we were getting ready to leave. He wanted a ride to the hospital. I’m sorry, I’ll help someone out but not if they stumble over which hospital they are supposedly supposed to be at for a return appointment, something I’ve never even heard of for the ER, not that it’s not possible. We ended up not giving him a ride.
Rich: I hope I’m not going to hell for that one but he could have had anything planned. John Quinones will just have to understand. (His “What Would You Do” reference)
Kim: I don’t think John Quinones or God would think that you had to be unsafe and let someone you don’t know into your vehicle. Besides, he was that scary zombie guy and that’s just darn creepy.
Rich: Yeah, he crossed the parking lot and the highway to get to us and that makes no sense. He didn’t even ask anyone else in the parking lot.
We have a kind of high profile truck that is like an “I need money” magnet.
Me: Besides, why didn’t he ask us for some money for a cab? We would have done that perhaps but not let him into the truck. We don’t know who he was or what he’d do.
So what do you think? Would you have given a stranger a ride to the ER under those circumstances? PS the ER visit was for an infected toe which we could not see. Which led to his part of the conversation.
Kim: I should have made him show us his toe.
Rich: Then we could be like, “No way are you bringing that into our truck.”
That’s what led to the going to hell conversation. I put it last so you’d have background on what was going on. 
Conversation Fail
This is an old one but I was at Starbucks and at the time there was this really hot guy that worked there. Don’t worry, Rich knew I thought this guy was hot. So one day I’m getting my coffee from the girl behind the counter and his name was mentioned.
Me: He is so cute. He’s my boyfriend (you know how you’re like oh that’s my boyfriend, as a joke?)
Here: Yeah he’s my boyfriend.
Me: No, he’s my boyfriend.
Her: No really, he’s actually my boyfriend; we live together.
Everyone pretty much heard about this convesation. I was so embarrassed. That couple later left to work at Hoffbrau but once in a while we see them and they say hello to us. He kind of looks like Desmond Harrington from Dexter.
Free coffee conversation
I was talking to a really good friend the other day and she was telling me about a “date” she’d gone on.
Mel: So I went on a date for free coffee.
Me: I’d totally go out with a guy for free coffee at Starbucks.
Mel: Yeah, I got the big one and everything then said I had to get going.
Me: Hilarious!
Mel: I’m dating a hispanic guy
Me: Really? Cool. Do they have hispanics in Oregon?(me being funny because I tease her about Oregon; she’s from the south like myself)
Mel: Yeah a lot but I thought he was French. His name is Javier.
Me: How did you not know he was hispanic with the name Javier?
Mel: I just thought he was tan and I thought Javier was French.
Now mind you this is good natured banter and not racism. Mel is African American and I think hispanic guys are hot. I do think however, that my H2 would not be welcome in Oregon which is why I tease her about living there.
