Random stuff heard around the house

Archive for February, 2011

Zombie Hitchhiker Conversation

We went to Target tonight and in the parking lot was this guy standing very still and well, just standing there. It was quite creepy. So Starbucks is across the street so we had gone there afterward. As we are leaving the same guy had walked from the parking lot to Starbuck’s parking lot and stopped us as we were getting ready to leave. He wanted a ride to the hospital. I’m sorry, I’ll help someone out but not if they stumble over which hospital they are supposedly supposed to be at for a return appointment, something I’ve never even heard of for the ER, not that it’s not possible. We ended up not giving him a ride.

Rich: I hope I’m not going to hell for that one but he could have had anything planned. John Quinones will just have to understand. (His “What Would You Do” reference)

Kim: I don’t think John Quinones or God would think that you had to be unsafe and let someone you don’t know into your vehicle. Besides, he was that scary zombie guy and that’s just darn creepy.

Rich: Yeah, he crossed the parking lot and the highway to get to us and that makes no sense. He didn’t even ask anyone else in the parking lot.

We have a kind of high profile truck that is like an “I need money” magnet.

Me: Besides, why didn’t he ask us for some money for a cab? We would have done that perhaps but not let him into the truck. We don’t know who he was or what he’d do.

So what do you think? Would you have given a stranger a ride to the ER under those circumstances? PS the ER visit was for an infected toe which we could not see. Which led to his part of the conversation.

Kim: I should have made him show us his toe.

Rich: Then we could be like, “No way are you bringing that into our truck.”

That’s what led to the going to hell conversation. I put it last so you’d have background on what was going on. 🙂

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People Watching Conversations

So we were at the Mardi Gras parade today. We are on a krewe and ride on a float so Rich had gone to take some pictures and I was putting out beads and having some totally yummy extra strong drink concoction listing to some Shoop on the stereo blasting.

Me: Dude, did you see the African American guy with the huge arms? I was totally enjoying the view.

Rich: No but I saw a girl with huge boobs.

Me: I’ll see your big boobs and raise you a hot black guy with huge arms.

Rich: Whatever!

Honestly, this guy was fine. In my defense, I’m sure there were some hot girls for Rich to enjoy looking at while I was people watching.

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Animal Conversations

I was writing an article on scary movie animals.

Me: Hey, what are some scary movie animals? I have Cujo and stuff like that.

Rich: What about Jaws? Piranha?

Me: Yeah but are fish an animal?

Rich: Are they plants?

Me: No

Rich: Are they a mineral?

Me: No

Rich: Are they a vegetable?

Me: No

Rich: Are they a human?

Me: No

Rich: Then they are an animal.

Me: Okay, what about like crocodiles or snakes? And dinosaurs!

Rich: *rolls his eyes*

Rich: Dinosaurs aren’t real! (he was joking because someone once told me that and I could not believe it)

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Some Short Conversations

Me: I thought I parked the truck just fine. It’s all crooked. I can’t park for sh*t.

Rich: Yeah, you parked just fine…on my effing side.

…..

Me: Do you ever think that Ben Affleck’s friend’s yell, “AFFLECK” to him like the Aflac duck?

…..

Me: Oh lord, there’s another throwing up scene on television. That’s like three tonight so far.

Rich: You should do a vomit database for other movie watchers.


College Conversation

I’d just gotten back from a test and was talking to Rich.

Me: You know I don’t like FSU as much as GCCC for a couple of reasons. I love the classes but it’s different. Back at GCCC I was always the teacher’s favorites (not all but mostly within my major) and the people there were more my age and it just seemed like a closer community. Now it’s all 20 year old graduate students and teachers that could care less about me and I just don’t like it. I had friends at GCCC but I don’t know anyone there really.

Rich: Do they have mean girls too?

Me: Probably!

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I Forgot This Conversation

There was more to the Paranormal Activity 2 conversation. I had noticed when I started watching the movie that Katie and Micah were in it but they were in the first movie so imagine my confuzzlement. Somehow I missed at the beginning that this movie was during the same time almost that their movie was shot. For some reason this posted to you all with the weird HTML. I’m going to try to publish it again.

Me: So how come Katie is in this movie? She hover over this to see in the first movie.

Rich: I have no idea. Who cares?

Me: I care. Let’s say you were watching Conan 2 but Conan had hover again in the first movie.

Rich: Conan wouldn’t hover again

Me: Oh Lord.

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Paranormal Activity Conversations

So we were watching Paranormal Activity 2. I had to use the restroom and went to pause the movie.

Rich: Don’t pause it, there’s nothing happening right now.

Me: Surely as I don’t pause it demons will dance around on the show.

Rich: Just go and get back.

So I start to leave the room and suddenly hear loud crashing and screaming. I whip my head around (as best I could since I slept the wrong way and hurt my neck) and there it is, all the cabinets in her kitchen flew open from the demon or whatever.

Me: SEE, I FREAKING TOLD YOU IF I LEFT THE ROOM SOMETHING EXCITING WOULD HAPPEN.

I had to rewind the BluRay and everything! On a side note, we rented it from RedBox in BluRay and it was not so….

Rich: I’m calling them tomorrow. I paid extra for BluRay and I ended up with CrapRay.


Netflix Conversation

So I went to Netflix to add a movie and it came up for me to rate a movie I’d seen.

Me: Did I rent Bitch Slap? Huh? I don’t remember it.

Rich: Yeah you did. *snicker*

Me: Oh! Well, was it good?

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Older Conversation That Had a Third Party

In honor (or shame) of the woman that tried to mail a live puppy to her son for his birthday, I present to you…this. This was about a year or two ago.

Rich: XXX told me that they were going to mail their son some saltwater fish.

Me: Like through the post office?

Rich: Yes.

Me: How?

Rich: I’m not sure, they said they would send the fish to them for their tank.

Me: Um…. in a box?

Rich: Yep.

Me: How will they do that?

Rich: I have no clue but I tried to discourage them.

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Superbowl Conversations

We were watching the Superbowl and I got up to close our back door. I sat back down and here is the conversation.

Me: It was getting cold in here, it’s 40 outside.

Rich: It’s actually 48.

Me: Oh. Well, it was still cold.

Superbowl shows some tailgaters.

Rich: I guess their temperature warmed up.

Me: Looks like it. I wonder what the temperature is there because the football players all have on short sleeves.

Rich: Are you kidding? It’s indoors, you tard.

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