I’ve been sick with a virus of sorts. Nausea, etc but if I get hungry it’s ten times worse. So Rich’s mom was taking me out for my belated birthday dinner tonight. I asked Rich about stopping at Target.
Me: I want to stop by Target and pick up the coupon stuff.
Rich: I want to eat first then go to Target.
Me: Well, if I get diarrhea it’s on you!
Me: Oh wait………….
Tonight we were watching a new show about abandoned or forbidden places. It’s on The Travel Channel and it’s called Off Limits. So since I have an interest in that and run a site for it Abandoned Gulf Coast, I couldn’t wait to see it. So we start watching it and the last place they went was an abandoned Nazi compound in Los Angeles.
Rich: So that’s why you wanted to watch this show, it has Nazis.
Me: No, that was just an added bonus!
Just in case I need to clear this up, I do not condone Nazis or their behavior. In fact, if I were in the FBI or something and it was years ago I’d want to be a Nazi hunter. I even love shooting them in video games. I hate Nazis. I do however find that part of history fascinating; just not in a good way. But give me a movie about Nazis and I love to watch them as long as they are being taken down or shown as the monsters they are. There, I feel better that you all can better understand my fascination with this era in history.
Me: Are jackalopes real?
Me: No really, they’re fake right?
Rich: Nope, they’re real.
Me: Quit trying to fool me, I’ll Google it.
Rich: *said something while we were watching Outsourced*
Me: Shhhh! I’m trying to find an ugly Indian woman. (we think Indian women are breathtakingly beautiful on average)
Rich: Good luck with that.
Me: For real.
Here are some shorts just from this morning.
Rich: Which dog did I hit with the pillow this morning?
Me: I think it was Blitz.
Rich: Do not come in here and cough up stuff on my shoe!
Rich: That’s a whole lot of crazy coming down the hall. (Swan was in rare form today; laughing, running around with toys and being silly. Now she’s licking a chair leg though so go figure)
Rich: No dingbat, you cannot go in the bathroom and dump the trash. (Swan again, that seems to be her goal in life to dump the trash can)
Today I was cleaning up some apps on Facebook and Rich asked me to clean his up. So I’m calling out apps no one has used in a year like “What kind of spirit animal are you” and other inane apps.
Me: Here’s one: What Disney Princess are you?
Rich: What? I never took that quiz, where did that come from?
Me: LOL I have no idea.
Rich: So which one was I?
Me: I already deleted it.
Rich: This better not go on Heard at Home.
I almost just took a photo of my text conversation and uploaded it but I was too lazy. Instead, I am typing it out, which isn’t quite lazy at all. So there!
Mel: Do you know what they call a slutty girl now?
Mel: A hot pocket.
Me: ROFL that’s funny cause that’s what Rich eats for lunch. It gives a whole new meaning to him going out to lunch.
Mel: Are you sure that’s what he means?
Me: ROFL Yes because I eat them too.
Mel: You guys are kinky.
You’d have to know Melissa. She’s the one person that can say something totally offensive and I’ll find it hilarious.
Me: You know, Google picked the worst time to redo their algorithms because that’s how come I was short on my page views for B____H____. (name not included just in case that’s an issue with anyone there where I work) Now I don’t get my article limits lifted for another month. They had the worst timing for me.
Rich: Did you get Screw-Gled?
Me: Why yes I did!
Just so you know, I was 3 page views short. THREE!