Random stuff heard around the house

Archive for July, 2011

Sensitive Matters Conversation

Today Rich’s boss sent him to Office Depot to pick up something of a sensitive matter. Rich went to the oldest person working there.

Store guy: Can I help you find something?

Rich: Um, well….(stutters) yeah I hate to really ask but it’s sort of embarrassing.

Store guy: Well, I don’t think we sell that kind of thing here.

Rich: I know but I have to be sure.

Store guy: Well, what is it?

Rich: (stutters) I need ……cassette tapes.

Store guy: (laughs) I can see why you would be embarrassed. Let’s see if we can find some for you.

The cassette tapes were found and everyone was happy in the end. TDK’s even!

 

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Troll Conversation

I was talking to a friend about someone sending her some money and she had expected much more.

Me: I bet she built that all up too, didn’t she?

Mel: She sure did!

Me: I call that the troll syndrome. When I worked at the newspaper years ago this guy liked me and said he had a gift for me. He built it up all week long and do you know what it was when I got it?

Mel: No, what!

Me: A freaking troll doll. You know those kind you put on a pencil with the big hair? That’s what he gave me as a gift.

Really?

My freaking gift. I mean, really?

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Ghost or Satan Cat Conversation

Rich: Dammit to hell, is the cat in the fish tank again? (this would be in the cabinet not the actual tank itself)

Me: Why?

Rich: Something just sneezed and the door opened a bit then closed.

Me: That or we have a ghost with allergies.

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Comcast Conversation

This actually took place today after I called for about the 50th time about our DVR cutting off shows.

Me: Yes, I’m calling because our DVR is cutting off shows again and last night we missed four shows!

Comcast guy: Did you miss True Blood too?

Me: Wow, how did you know?

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Positivity Conversation

Me: Hey, they are having a thought process and the laws of attraction class on Tuesday nights at Capstone House. You can go with me and learn to think more positive!

Rich: I doubt it’d work.

Me: ………………

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Smart Phone Conversations

We were headed out to get coffee and Faithfully by Journey came on the radio. Rich pulled up his lighter app and we waved it around. Then I said that I needed to download that app, etc.

Me: You do realize we’re like the Geico commercial now where people do dumb things with smart phones?

Here is the video in case you haven’t seen it.

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Helping a Friend Conversation

So I was talking to my friend and she was spending the night at the beach and even showering there. She lives a few states away so it’s not like she could stay with us. 😦

Me: Awww, now you’re like a homeless person. 😦

Her: No I’m not. I’m just taking some “me” time for a day or two.

Me: You’re like Jennifer Connelly in House of Sand and Fog. She had to shower at the beach and all when she lost her house. Have you seen it? It’s really depressing.

Her: Thanks a lot. I need happy movies to watch.

Me: Okay what about The Sound of Music? Oh wait, that had Nazis and stuff.

Her: Geez thanks Kim. Isn’t that the movie with the family trying to escape from the Nazis?

Me: Okay, my bad.

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