Random stuff heard around the house

Archive for October, 2011

Biology Conversation (or is that zoology?)

Rich and I were talking about rabies and stuff.

Rich: They are having free rabies vaccinations here. We should take the dogs and get their shots updated.

Me: I know. With all the squirrels, possums, and birds they chase around like doves and stuff it’d be a good idea.

Rich: When have you known a bird to have rabies?

Me: Bats!

Rich: Bats aren’t birds you idiot. Bats are mammals.

Me: I know, I just wasn’t thinking.

Rich: Did you even take biology in school?

Me: I took it, failed it and retook it.

Rich: You were high during the entire high school years, weren’t you?



Willy Wonka Conversation

So we’re cooking dinner (shrimp salad in case you wondered) and this commercial comes on for Golden Corral showing their new chocolate fountain.

Rich: OMG say what?

Me: I would totally eat that.

Rich: Me too. I’d be like in Willy Wonka!

Me: I want it and I want it now (said in my Veruca Salt voice)

Rich: Veruca Salt never ate the chocolate. It’s Augustus.

Me: Well, I can’t do the guy’s voice that has to be you.

Rich: Oh great, so I’m the fat German kid?


A couple of conversations

Me: Hey Rich, I should start talking to you like some of our friends on Facebook. Like, “Oh hubby, you are the best ever. I wuv you so much” and you can call me Wifey and stuff and write back and forth all day. (this was a joke by the way)

Rich: If you do that I will unfriend you, my own wife.


Me: I feel ugly today.

Rich: Why do you feel ugly?

Me: I looked in the mirror.

(now this sounds pathetic but it was actually funny. We were going to a social and I had looked in the truck mirror and didn’t like my makeup or something)


No Job For You Conversation

A friend of Melissa’s went to get a job at Netflix. BTW, I’d love to work at Netflix I think. I know we have one locally but I have no idea where it is or when they hire. It’s all one big secret like they are scared someone will shoot up the place because their movie is scratched. Anyway, here’s a conversation that was hilarious.

Melissa: My friend went to get a job at Netflix and they told him to tell them what he knew about Netflix. So he says, “I know y’all have those red boxes everywhere.”

Netflix: That’s not us.

Needless to say, he did not get the job.