Random stuff heard around the house

Archive for November, 2011

Not My Conversation

I overheard this conversation with a friend. I bears repeating since it was rather funny.

Friend: I hope the makeover actually puts more makeup on me. Like, what if they just do skin care and I have to drive home with no makeup?

Other friend: Yeah, that would suck too.

Friend: My luck I’d get arrested and go to jail with no makeup. Like that last time, except this time I’d be wearing pants.



Siri Conversation

I was enjoying my Assistant on Droid, which is similar to Siri on iPhone. Although it’s not exactly the same, it’ll still do fun stuff. Like I asked stuff like if it liked me and it would answer things like, “You are a great friend.” So we kept getting more silly about it till finally Rich asked it a question and this is what happened at Starbucks.

Me: Rich asked it, “How do I murder my wife and get away with it.” Then my assistant answered, “I’ve been wondering that myself.”

Cue hilarious laughter

Rich: You do realize there is a cop right behind us, right? I mean, really?

Cop: Hey, I didn’t hear a thing.

Starbucks friend: Hey, we know them, they’re okay I swear.

Cop: …………..


Misunderstanding Mexico Conversation

Me: We were at the pet store and they had the cutest little bull terrier puppies, kind of like pugs. And I petted a cockatoo but he kept trying to eat my buttons. Oh and they had a hedgehog and chinchillas.

Mel: What are chinchillas?

Me: They’re little animals with the softest fur ever. Some people make coats out of them because of the fur but they are so adorable.

Mel: Wait, I thought chinchillas were a Mexican food.


Me: Lord, I’ll look them up. Okay it says they are from the Andes Mountains in South America and…..

Mel: See, I told you they were from Mexico.



Old Timey Conversation

I was watching this video of a Belgian Malinois and it was made in 1936 in Germany.

Me: Look at this neat video of the dogs doing agility in the 1930’s. It even has that old timey music!

Rich: What kind of music did you think it’d have, Sir Mix a Lot?

Me: ……………….


Cyber Conversations

Lately I’ve had a few guys from foreign countries friend me on Facebook. I’m an equal opportunity friender because I rarely ignore anyone and will add them for a while. Seems though, they all want to cyber.

Here’s a conversation (loosely) I had recently and I combined a couple to save time.

Them: Hi

Me: Hi

Them: What are you doing

Me: nothing much

Them: Do you eat rice?

Me: (in my head I’m saying WTF) yes

Them: do you want to be close friends

Me: I don’t really know you

Them: What is your name

Me: You friended me, you should know my name

Them: Do you talk on yahoo? can I have your email? We talk close there

Me: No thanks.

I mean, really?


Self Diagnosis Conversation

Rich and I have this conversation quite frequently. I’ll find symptoms on the interwebz and swear that’s what is wrong with me. Here is the latest.

Me: I wasn’t looking up symptoms. I got an email stating how you may be diabetic and that might be what is wrong.

Rich: You need to stay off of the Internet.

Me: But I’m just trying to help you. What if I go into a diabetic coma or something and then you could tell the paramedics what it might be.

Rich: How would I know to tell them that? I wouldn’t know if you ate a blowfish out of the aquarium or something.