Rich: What are those pills you are taking?
Me: That’s tumeric. It’s for all kinds of stuff like arthritis, Alzheimer’s, achy joints, cancer, etc. It’s all natural, it’s a spice even.
Rich: I just wondered what you were taking.
Me: They’re not drugs drugs. They’re not illicit drugs.
Me: If I had some illicit drugs I’d be all over that.
Me: I wish I had some illicit drugs. They’d help my foot stop hurting.
Me: I’m serious. I need some real drugs.
Rich: Okay. I just asked what they were.
Me: I’m not playing, my feet hurt.
I was talking to my friend Mel and she was telling me about falling asleep while talking to someone.
Me: OMG I know.
Mel: I don’t even know what I said to that person either.
Me: Well, you know how you doze off and say weird things or start to dream? I was talking on the phone with this paid survey company and dozed off. I blurted out, “DOLPHINS KISSING.”
Mel: ROFL Where did that even come from?
Me: I have no idea but it made me wake right up and I tried to fix it. But you can’t fix DOLPHINS KISSING.
Mel: I know, you can’t fix something DOLPHINS KISSING at all.
Rich has a co-worker that joined a local dating site and this is what the conversation was.
Rich: So, F***ster joined a dating site and a girl wanted to meet him on a Saturday. So he shows up and four other guys showed up too.
Rich: Turns out she wanted help moving.
Rich: One guy told her to go f*ck herself but F***ster actually stayed and helped her move.
Mel: My Sim is a hoarder
Me: Did I ever tell you about the time Rich thought I had a stroke?
Me: I had gotten a Brazilian wax kit and it had numbing gel. Somehow when boxing it back up I touched my face and we were at Sam’s Club and my face went numb. Rich thought I’d had a stroke and was going to take me to the hospital till I figured out it was the waxing gel.
I like to tease Rich about the last time we had a discussion about the Internet. Now I just swipe my hand across the air and he gets it, which means he usually flips me off. This is why I swipe the air.
Rich was talking to a sort of co-worker at work and was discussing the new year.
Rich: We’ll probably go out to Pier Park and watch the ball drop, etc.
Person: What time are they having all of that?
Rich: Well, the fireworks and ball drop is at midnight of course.
Person: Why are they doing it that late? I’ll be in bed!
Rich: Um, that’s when the new year is……….