Random stuff heard around the house

Archive for January, 2012

Drugs Conversation

Rich: What are those pills you are taking?

Me: That’s tumeric. It’s for all kinds of stuff like arthritis, Alzheimer’s, achy joints, cancer, etc. It’s all natural, it’s a spice even.

Rich: I just wondered what you were taking.

Me: They’re not drugs drugs. They’re not illicit drugs.

Rich: Okay

Me: If I had some illicit drugs I’d be all over that.

Rich: Okay

Me: I wish I had some illicit drugs. They’d help my foot stop hurting.

Rich: Okay

Me: I’m serious. I need some real drugs.

Rich: Okay. I just asked what they were.

Me: I’m not playing, my feet hurt.

Rich: Okay

 

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Dozing Conversation

I was talking to my friend Mel and she was telling me about falling asleep while talking to someone.

Me: OMG I know.

Mel: I don’t even know what I said to that person either.

Me: Well, you know how you doze off and say weird things or start to dream? I was talking on the phone with this paid survey company and dozed off. I blurted out, “DOLPHINS KISSING.”

Mel: ROFL Where did that even come from?

Me: I have no idea but it made me wake right up and I tried to fix it. But you can’t fix DOLPHINS KISSING.

Mel: I know, you can’t fix something DOLPHINS KISSING at all.

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Dating Conversation

Rich has a co-worker that joined a local dating site and this is what the conversation was.

Rich: So, F***ster joined a dating site and a girl wanted to meet him on a Saturday. So he shows up and four other guys showed up too.

Me: WTF?

Rich: Turns out she wanted help moving.

Me: OMG

Rich: One guy told her to go f*ck herself but F***ster actually stayed and helped her move.

Me: ………………..

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Short Conversations

Mel: My Sim is a hoarder

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Me: Did I ever tell you about the time Rich thought I had a stroke?

Mel: No!

Me: I had gotten a Brazilian wax kit and it had numbing gel. Somehow when boxing it back up I touched my face and we were at Sam’s Club and my face went numb. Rich thought I’d had a stroke and was going to take me to the hospital till I figured out it was the waxing gel.

Mel: ……………..

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Internet Conversation

 

I like to tease Rich about the last time we had a discussion about the Internet. Now I just swipe my hand across the air and he gets it, which means he usually flips me off. This is why I swipe the air.

 

 

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Time Conversation

Rich was talking to a sort of co-worker at work and was discussing the new year.

Rich: We’ll probably go out to Pier Park and watch the ball drop, etc.

Person: What time are they having all of that?

Rich: Well, the fireworks and ball drop is at midnight of course.

Person: Why are they doing it that late? I’ll be in bed!

Rich: Um, that’s when the new year is……….

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