Random stuff heard around the house

apocalyptic

Hostess Conversation

Rich: You know those people that spent all kinds of money on the Twinkies and stuff may have done it too early.

Me: Why?

Rich: They are supposedly stopping the sale of Hostess and it may not go out of business.

Me: Oh, that’s good but yeah, they’d feel silly that they paid $10 for a box of Twinkies.

Kim: You know what I’d miss the most? Not Twinkies but Ding Dongs.

Rich: You can get stuff that tastes like those.

Kim: No, nothing tastes like a Ding Dong.

Rich:………………

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Food Conversation

We were at a restaurant and the waiter had brought us more fries even though we had fries. He thought the first ones weren’t cooked right but they were perfect. Rich finishes his fries and takes the new ones and moves them.

Me: What are you doing with the fries? Those are half mine.

Rich: I was just moving them. You’re pretty selfish with your food.

Me: During the apocalypse, I will cut you over a pork chop.

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Another Apocalyptic Conversation

I was talking to my friend on the phone and joking about stockpiles after the apocalypse. Whether it be a zombie one, EMP’s or whatever; the first thing to go will be the city water supply considering ours goes out once in a while over nothing. So I was wondering how to use the bathroom.

Me: Oh wait, we have that Doggie Dooley system in the backyard. We can use the bathroom there! You just open it up and we even have the enzymes that kill the stuff.

Me: Or we can refill the toilet water with pool water!

Rich: Yeah but the pipes will clog up because if the city waste water treatment plant isn’t working there’s nowhere for it to go.

Me: Okay, back to the Doggie Dooley.

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