Misunderstanding Conversation
Tonight we were at McGuire’s Irish Pub in Destin and we had ordered the root beer because they microbrew it there. So while I can’t stand beer, the root beer is to die for.
Waitress: Would you like a pitcher for the two of you? It’s the same charge for the two root beers.
Us: Yes please.
She leaves.
Me: Geez, when she asked that I thought she meant like someone takes our picture like when you go to touristy restaurants and they want to take your picture to sell to you. Then I was thinking does she mean it’s free if we buy two root beers? Then I figured out she meant a pitcher, not a picture. LOL
Rich: Oh Lord!
Gangsta Deer Conversation
I was talking to a friend from New Jersey a couple of years ago and this is the hilarity that ensued. We were discussing wildlife and all and I guess they don’t see as much as we do here in Florida.
Friend from New Jersey: Whenever I see a deer beside the road I lock my doors.
Me: Why? Do you think they are going to steal your wallet?
Friend from New Jersey: I’m not sure! I just always lock my doors when I drive by.
Me: 
Apocalypse Colors Conversation
We were talking about some movies and I mentioned one of my favorites, The Book of Eli.
Rich: I wish you wouldn’t rent movies with no color.
Me: It’s the apocalypse. There is no color during the apocalypse, that’s why the movie has none. (it’s mostly sephia and grey to be honest)
Rich: Not true. Chernobyl still has plant life so it has color.
Me: Well, you do have a point there.
Even though Chernobyl wasn’t an apocalypse, I get the point he was making.
WTF Conversations (A short)
Today we’re watching People’s Court and I was FF’ing to the actual case when this happened.
Rich: Why does the one guy have his eyes rolled back in his head where the whites are showing?
Me: (I start rewinding) I’m not sure what you’re talking ab…..OH MY GOD WHY DOES THAT GUY LOOK LIKE A DEAD ZOMBIE??? MAKE IT STOP!
Here’s a funny clip from The People’s Court sans zombie guy.
Some Short Conversations
Tonight while driving down the road and listening to the Sirius radio I changed it to the 70’s station.
Rich: Abba? Really? You do realize someone in the truck has testicles, right?
Earlier today while cleaning up for the new television and stand I found my dog’s baby tooth I’d saved.
Me: I can’t believe someone almost lost my dog tooth!
Late tonight after doing a ton of heavy work I noticed my poky thing where my intestines are was poking out. It’s after having surgery and the doctor told me that can happen from time to time and just to push it back in and it may need eventual surgery.
Me: Ugh! My guts are poking out. Come feel it.
Rich: I’m not touching your guts.
Me: FEEL MY GUTS!
It’s under my skin just in case you thought my real guts were poking out. LOL It’s weird and I can’t explain it since it rarely happens.
Cell Reception Conversation
So the other day I’m watching a pretty decent movie called, And Soon the Darkness. The only problem was that the girls were in Argentina. At a waterfall. In the middle of nowhere. And they had cell reception.
Me: I can’t even go through Greenhead or Ebro and get cell reception but they have it in the middle of Argentina by some secluded waterfall.
Rich: Yeah, that always happens in the middle of nowhere. Look at any movie.
Me: When we go to Mexico I am taking my phone to the jungle, then the ruins and I’m going to see if we have cell reception. Then we’ll see who is right; us or the movies.
Georgraphy Conversation
Rich: We’re not going to Mexico, Progreso is in the Yucatan.
Me: Yes, and that’s in Mexico.
Rich: No it’s not, it says Yucatan.
I look it up on the Carnival website.
Me: See? It says Mexico.
Rich: Does it say anywhere suck it, Kim?
TSA Conversations
So I was talking to Rich about the cost of flights since a friend had said I should go somewhere on vacation I never had like The Grand Canyon. I’d love to but the cost was so much higher than an entire cruise would cost us, unfortunately.
Rich: And you have to worry about being groped by TSA.
Me: No because this was Delta I checked.
Rich: Who do you think checks you out?
Me: We’re not flying with TSA.
Rich: OMG TSA is the security agency that checks everyone out.
Me: I thought it was an airline.
Blame it on the Cat Conversations
Last night Rich went to toast some bread in our toaster oven. We were having BLT’s for dinner (yum).
Rich: Who unplugged this?
Me: Not me. I haven’t been back there to unplug it. Maybe the cat did it.
Rich: How would the cat unplug it?
Me: He gets back there sometimes when he’s not supposed to be on the counter.
Rich: Wait, it’s not unplugged; all of the dials are just in the wrong settings.
Me: Oh wait, I did that trying to turn it on the other day.
Rich: I was going to say that if the cat can turn the dials he can make me a sandwich.
A couple of short conversations
I’m all about the shorts lately. Here’s one old one and one new one, in that order.
Rich: Doesn’t smoking cause leukemia?
Me: Of course it doesn’t.
Rich: I’m going to Google it.
Me: You need to.
The other day I made some groups on Facebook. Stuff like family, friends at Starbucks, authors, etc. Well I made them secret but found out that people in the group know they are in the group. So it’s not a huge secret.
Me to Rich: Geez, I’m glad I didn’t make a “I’m not sure who the f*ck these people are but they added me” group.
Heard at Home 